He Said, She Said.

Clayton and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary a couple weeks ago and I thought it might be nice to get our perspective on infertility and how it's effected us differently. So here are 10 infertility related questions. I really didn't need to put the "He Said" or "She Said", mine are the long winded answers and his are the short ones.

1. What do you wish you had known before we started trying to conceive?

He Said: I wish I would’ve known how long it would take.

She Said: That infertility was a real thing. I wish I had done more research at the beginning and known exactly what we were getting into. I don't know if it would have helped but I feel like being more prepared for the struggle we have had might have been easier.

2. How have you handled the emotional stress of infertility?

He Said: I try to stay positive and strong for you and look to the future.

She Said: Not well. Something I wish I had been prepared for. I usually try to distract myself from everything for an escape. For the record, yes. I do realize that's not healthy.

3. What would you say to someone else going through infertility?

He Said: Stay strong, try to be positive, don’t dwell on what hasn’t happened, look forward to what can happen.

She Said: Pray. Give as much of your stress as possible to God. I know it's hard because I've struggled with it too. And find a support system. Surround yourself with a strong tribe that will support you and lift you up because this journey won't be easy.

4. What did you tell your friends and family about your infertility treatments?

He Said: We told them everything.

She Said: We told our family and friends everything but I know that path isn't for everyone.

5. How have you handled the financial stress of infertility?

He Said: Not so good. Never so good. I wish this wasn’t so expensive.

She Said: It’s been hard to balance. It’s hard to justify buying something for yourself (whether it’s a need or a want) when you feel like every dime should be going to saving up for IVF.

6. How do you think our relationship has changed since we started this journey?

He Said: I feel like it’s made us stronger as a couple.

She Said: I think we’ve gotten stronger together for sure. We’ve come to lean on each other emotionally more and be more communicative.

7. What has been the hardest part of this journey for you?

He Said: Not knowing if it’ll ever happen and watching your heart break.

She Said: Our pregnancy losses and feeling responsible for those. Feeling responsible for the fact you aren’t a Daddy yet. It kills me.

8. What has been the happiest part of this journey for you?

He Said: When we found out we were pregnant with the twins.

She Said: Our positive pregnancy tests. No matter how short lived that excitement was (5 days or 10 weeks) seeing those two pink lines or getting the positive phone call from our doctor has been the best feeling!

9. What has been the most upsetting or discouraging thing someone has said to you?

He Said: Nobody has really said anything upsetting to me.

She Said: Probably the most upsetting is anyone asking when we plan to give up or stop trying. Asking what our cut off date is. Like we’ve sat down and said “If we aren’t pregnant in 6 months we give up forever”. I just can’t think about that point, I trust God has a plan and someone asking when we are going to throw in the towel really bothers me.

10. What is the most uplifting or encouraging thing someone has said to you?

He Said: All the prayers & positive thoughts.

She Said: Anyone who has told us they are praying for us makes me tear up every time. That means so much to me!

Go Fund Me: The Stephens IVF Journey 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT

~Ashley~