Our First IVF Appointment

I went into our IVF appointment with apprehension. I knew it would be expensive. I knew it would be hard. I’m overweight, so would we even be good candidates for this route? I was scared of being told no but equally scared of being told yes. Was I ready to try again? How soon could we try again? 4 IUIs and 2 miscarriages already, the idea of trying again is terrifying. Our doctor had warned me I would deal with PTSD when we got pregnant again but the anxiety and fear started with the first consultation. Dr. K came in with the high fives and upbeat smiles like always. He apologized and told us how sorry he was for our recent loss of the twins. Then without missing a beat jumped right in. Information was flying at me at the speed of light. I was making mental notes of additional questions to the ones we had already written down. 

How many eggs could I possibly have?

• Based on my history, he expects me to easily have 20-30.

How many embryos could that result in?  

• It's all dependent on the health of the eggs and sperm but conservatively we could have up to 10.

What happens with any extra embryos?  

• They will remain frozen until we decide to use them at a later date or we can donate them to a couple that is struggling to conceive and would like to adopt our embryos. I'll add here embryo adoption is one of the coolest things I've ever heard of, check it out!

How many embryos could we transfer?  

• No more than 2.

Frozen or fresh transfer? 

• We'll try for fresh but if there are complications/setbacks then it will be frozen.

How much would this cost?  

• Dependent on the set backs we could face somewhere between $13,000 and $20,000. 

Do you have a payment plan? 

• No, but you can take out a loan or credit card to pay. We don't accept Care Credit. 

What are our odds?  

• 75% to 85% depending on the number of embryos transferred. 

What are the side effects of the meds?  

• This list is far too long for a blog, as always, I encourage you to research.

Can I give myself the injections? Clayton refuses to give me shots.  

• Yes, but you will need to give them to yourself in the lower back/upper love handle and probably in front of a mirror. 

What are the chances of more than twins (because we need to mentally prepare for that if it’s a viable option)?  

• Twins are a very real option, especially with transferring 2 embryos. Embryos can split into two healthy babies (identical twins) so possibly 4 at the most? He hasn't seen an embryo split into 3 except for once.

He was so patient. He answered every question we had. He laughed and kept it lighthearted, never making us feel stressed or concerned. We had a lot to think about, a lot to save for and a lot to plan.

On our own we have a less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally. This is not due to any known complications or issues but based on our history and our unexplained infertility. With IVF he gives us a 75% chance of a healthy delivery with 1 embryo transfer and an 85% chance of a healthy delivery with 2 embryos. We discussed this with him at length and decided on 2 embryos. It doesn’t change the cost of IVF and it increases our chances of a healthy pregnancy. It also increases our chances of multiples, which we would be thrilled with. However, nothing is guaranteed. We still run the risk of coming out of this without a baby at all. The cost of IVF runs between $13,000 and $20,000 depending on how the cycle goes and complications along the way. The list of possible hurdles is a mile long. If you are interested in IVF I encourage you to research the side effects and complications so you can make an informed decision. This is not a decision to be made lightly, you will be pumping your body full of hormones in hopes of over producing what your body normally does. I expect it will be exhausting and emotional. For Clayton and I the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Following the appointment I came home and ordered a planner that would help me keep track of meds and cycles. Aside from being short $20,000 we were ready to jump in with both feet. This was in January of 2019. Since then Clayton and I have worked hard to save. We have started a Go Fund Me and Facebook Fundraiser. Our tax return will go straight to our baby fund. Every extra penny we manage to save goes straight to our baby fund. With the help of donations and savings we are almost half way there. It’s unbelievable to me that we’ve almost reached the halfway point in only 3 1/2 months. Could we take out a loan? Yes. But we’d like to do as much of this as possible without going further into debt. So far every fertility treatment we’ve done has come out of our pockets and we’d like to keep it that way as much as we can. We don’t want to be “paying off our children” on their 18th birthdays. I’d rather spend those years saving for college and their dreams. Taking family vacations and road trips. Making memories. Not worrying about the mountain of debt infertility put us in. It’s heartbreaking to me that infertility isn’t covered by my insurance. Like what we’re struggling with isn’t a real issue. It is. Shame on you Aetna.

If you'd like to help us reach our final destination please visit our Go Fund Me or Facebook Fundraiser. We'd like to do IVF this year if possible but we know that's a big mountain to climb. If you can't donate financially, please keep us in your prayers. Lord knows we'll take as many prayers as you are willing to give.

Go Fund Me: The Stephens IVF Journey 


This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9 NLT

~Ashley~